You Bought A Used Jacket? What Are We Poor?: Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)

I am a huge proponent of reconsidering the classic eighties films that for one reason or another managed to become second rate to their more successful contemporaries, particularly when the films manage to achieve a certain cult status, which is certainly true for a personal favorite of mine in Repo Man, as well as the recently reviewed Earth Girls Are Easy.  Of course I cannot love every film and certainly am not adoring of everything produced, although I tend to be pretty favorable for most works reviewed on this blog, however, I occasionally just do not enjoy a film, 1985's Desperately Seeking Susan stands to be one of those films, which is not to say it is bad or anything, but is simply nothing I found profound or deserved of its seemingly unquestioned cult status.  While the film certainly possessed a degree of quotability and a rather stellar cast for the era, including many of my favorite actors from the works of Jarmusch and Lee, it falls short so obviously that it cannot justify a high level of praise.  Furthermore, the main factor in me not completely dismissing the film resides in its being directed by a woman a feet that was rare in the 80's and still proves quite uncommon even today.  In fact, I find myself perplexed as to its sustained popularity, perhaps it is due to some brief nudity on the part of both lead actresses respectively, although if one were to seek a piece of media solely for a naked Madonna, it seems as though this rather forgotten film of the eighties is a bit out of ones way.  To be fair I did read a handful of reviews on the film as a means to attempt to sway my feelings towards the "cult classic," and while this did not prove successful I have been led to believe that Desperately Seeking Susan does reflect the wild and wily ways of the hip crowds and individuals occupying upper class New York during the time something I find myself surprisingly turned off by, as was the case with Metropolitan a film of which I should have loved, but found off putting in its distancing.  Honestly, Desperately Seeking Susan is not an awful film, it is actually considerably decent, however, the world portrayed and the methods of narration enacted were far from something I desired to embrace

The film, taking the famous lines of newspaper classified, expands on this notion to suggest that somewhere in New York City a couple uses this unusual form of communication to meet up on rendezvous, in this case the appropriately named Susan (Madonna) and Jim (Robert Joy) whose relationship is considerably strained since Susan appears to be a part time prostitute, while Jim is clearly preoccupied with seeing his band succeed, nonetheless, the duo manages to make things work, while becoming engaged "accidentally" within mob activities.  Enters Roberta (Rosanna Arquette) a rather disillusion housewife, whose husband Gary (Mark Blum) engages in the selling of pool and spas and rarely pays attention to his wife, who according to other may have suffered from a severe lack of sexual satisfaction.  In an attempt to add variety to her mundane life, Roberta decides to tag along to one of Susan and Jim's classified adds, in which she hopes to meet the lovebirds and undertake a bit of vicarious happiness, yet through a rather tragic twist of fate and the obtaining of one of Susan's signature clothing items only days earlier, Roberta is mistaken for Susan, leading to her being attacked by a mafia hit man.  After slipping and hitting her head, Roberta loses consciousness only to awake to Dez (Aidan Quinn), a friend sent by Jim to meet Susan and not having any memory due to her brief unconsciousness, she assumes herself to be Susan, causing Dez to take her back to his place and protect her from the unknown attacker.  The rest of the movie, suffice to say, focuses on the issues of the miscommunication by everyone involved, particularly since everyone appears to have an issue to hide, all of which explodes in a final and admittedly hilarious confrontation, involving humorous use of Madonna's own music, in a tip of the hat moment of meta filmmaking.  Also something involving a stolen pair of earrings seems pertinent to the larger story, all be it a bit forced.

As one could expect from a major film of the eighties, especially such a liberal leaning, feminist oriented film (again it would seem a perfect film for my palette) the narrative focuses on the tragedies of capitalist desires and conspicuous consumption, most blatantly in the character of Gary, who demands that everyone at a party view his commercial, which of course has a unique place in Marxist rhetoric in that it is a product with value that is designed to promote another product with a value.  Yet no amount of financial comfort or clear monetary success seems to prove fulfilling for Gary, let alone Roberta who suffers from another level of dissatisfaction.  In contrast we have Susan, engaging in prostitution, which is popularly known as the worlds oldest profession, but something with no quantifiable value, save for unfortunate cases involving STD's, which problematizes notions of capitalist associations of monetary value when it is purely for a qualitative act.  Yet, even Susan who engages in the problematic act of prostitution consumes conspicuously, however, she uses a bartering system to obtain her desire items, in the case of the narrative a jacket.  Her free movement from house to train station, also contests notions of capitalist power, because much of value is predicated on possession of private property.  If the film played more into these commentaries and the issues surrounding them, perhaps then I would be completely enamored with Desperately Seeking Susan, tragically none of this proves to be the case and instead the film plays too much into burgeoning or suppressed sexualities, without really even revolutionizing the discussions around both.  Perhaps the real tragedy of the film is its desire to comment on every problem in America without properly approaching anything specific.

Key Scene:  I guess if one were to be picked I would go with the train station scene involving Susan initially as it is a considerably solid introduction to the characters lifestyle and subsequently their psyche.

This is a film to avoid for the most part, although I know many people do love it quite a bit, as such I will leave the decision up to others.

Blood Is The Life Which Flows In You: Fascination (1979)

I thought after viewing the aptly named Vampyros Lesbos film that I had undertaken all the vampire lesbian films which existed in the world, as I have come to realize some years later, not only is the vampire lesbian film a well-represented segment within the horror genre, French born director Jean Rollin proved to be one of the premier filmmakers within the subject.  I realize from the onset that my dislike for this film is not shared, and that there is a general consensus that Rollin as a filmmaker, and the vampire lesbian genre as a whole offer much to be enjoyed.  With that in mind I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed the cinematography and soundtrack within the film and despite being a rather weak plot, the movement around a metahistorical narrative was quite fun.  Of course, these few moments of greatness are not enough to make the film soundly watchable.  It becomes quite evident that at least a third of this film will be devoted to characters undressing themselves and each other only to build up to moments of sexuality that are for all intensive purposes soft-core erotica.  Furthermore the already sexual composition of the film is worsened by the many on the nose references to phallic imagery and masculine endeavors of oppression which occur throughout the film.  Even when the film appears as though it will be redemptive by portraying female characters in central roles of power, Rollin, ultimately, allows for what can only be describe as hysteria to take control of their actions, despite the clear suggestion that they are not human, but vampires.  Unfortunately in the world of Rollin a female vampire is still a woman and, therefore, unable to properly control their emotions and engage without the slightest inkling of reason.  Where Fascination could have been revolutionary it is exploitative and where it could have used sexuality in a contemplative a manner it simply comes across as trashy.  Fascination is by no means a bad movie, it is indeed quite decent, however, its problematic moments are so egregious that they manage to detract from the movie considerably.

Set in 1905, Fascination begins with a group of upper class women stopping by a slaughter house to consume what is allegedly ox blood as a means to cure anemia.  With little to no explanation the film then jumps to the narrative of a bandit named Marc (Jean-Marie Lemair) who is now on the run from a group of fellow criminals after a deal with heavy monetary value goes sour.  Seeking refuge from his pursuers, Marc hides in a large castle hoping to evade them through nightfall and sneak away in the shadows.  His plan is quickly curtailed, however, when he realizes that the castle that he assumed to be unoccupied is very much the opposite as indeed inhabited by two ethereal and beautiful young women named Eva (Brigitte Lahale) and Elisabeth (Franca Mai).  Quickly asserting his masculine dominance, Marc demands that the two women obey his requests, as well as explain why the mansion is empty with the exception of the two of them.  Blatantly dismissive and mocking towards Marc, it is revealed that Eva and Elisabeth are lovers and part of a satanic cult which is destined to meet at the caste at the stroke of midnight.  As much confused and intrigued, Marc falls for the women, eventually sleeping with Eva, much to Elisabeth's demise, going so far as to use her to kill her pursuers in incredibly violent manners.  Despite the various pleas by Elisabeth for Marc to leave, he decides to stay at the possiblity to spend a night in what he assumes to be a orgiastic cult ritual.  However, with the emergence of the other women, who it is revealed have been consuming far more than ox blood, Marc become hesitant and attempts to extract himself from the events of the evening which have turned incredibly dark.  Marc   confesses his love to Elisabeth after rejecting her multiple times, an act Elisabeth notes before killing him only to leave with the head vampire woman, thus concluding the bizarre sex-laden story of Fascination.

I made it quite clear that I am not particularly fond of the manners in which sexuality manifests itself within Fascination.  To me it is far more exploitative than it is metaphorical.  Some of the acts of male sexual dominance are problematic in their rape like context and have no grounding on the films narrative advancement, this is certainly the case when Eva engages in intercourse with one of the bandits chasing Mark.  It has no justification beyond the means to add another sex scene to a nudity filled work.  In fact, the only scene in the film that is even remotely logical is the initial moment of intimacy between Eva and Elisabeth, but that goes on for far too long.  Essentially, sexuality in Fascination is not earnest as it is in something like The Kids Are All Right, nor does it have the heavy political ambitions and implications of the controversial film Salo; Or the 120 Days of Sodom.  Sex is just sex in Fascination attempting to mask itself as artful filmmaking.  Even the metaphors with sexual implications are heavy-handed.  Eva and Elisabeth's suggestions that their knives are silent, as they rub them across their lips and face are worthy of a double face-palm, while Elisabeth's stealing of Marc's clearly phallic gun only to put it in her mouth and contemplate suicide defies logic, in fact, Eva's possession of the scythe seems to be the only remotely well-executed use of metaphor in the entire work.  Metaphor does not work within Fascination like it does in a work of Hitchcock's, hell metaphor just does not work in the world of Rollin.  Things are forcefully and repetitiously explained to viewers as though the slightest moment lacking clarity would mean a complete failure to Rollin.  If anything Fascination suffers from being too on the nose, while, simultaneously, having no idea what it is trying to say.

Key Scene:  The moment when Eva emerges from the barn semi-nude with the scythe is cinematically oneiric.

Fascination is an alright film, not something that is dying to be viewed, should you be bored or just happen to be fixated on vampire lesbians then the watch instantly option of Netflix should prove just fine.

It Will Be 9/11 Times 2356: Team America: World Police (2004)

I saw this film a few years after its initial release and rewatched it recently per the request of a friend who is about to ship off to OCS training.  Upon my initial viewing of the film, I enjoyed all the blatant humor within the film that I had already come to adore from the minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.  This second time around, however, I was able to pick up on many of the slighted social critiques and clever political diatribes that were initially less apparent.  I make no qualms about my love of the work of Parker and Stone and while they may receive flack for their bawdy antics and complete disregard for moral decency, the two clearly understand the problems of the world far better than most politicians could even begin to imagine.  As such, Team America is something profoundly larger than a musical about puppets fighting the war on terrorism, as it is more than appropriate to say that South Park is about much more than a group of kids growing up in rural Colorado.  Team America is instead a scathingly accurate commentary on our world post-911, particularly how we dealt with the cultural appropriation of patriotism, terrorism and national unity in a time when all seemed dire.  Team America amidst its explosions, toilet humor and knowingly terrible acting reminds viewers that comedy is the best medicine to despair, as well as the most accessible route to astute social commentary.

Team America: World Police follows a group of trained soldiers whose soul purpose appears to be the assurance of freedom globally and the cessation of all things terrorist.  The group is led by a man named Carson whose sauve ways and leadership assure that the group will fight terrorism with little trouble, however, after a cowardly attack by a dying terrorist Carson is killed and Team America is left without a vital organ to their entire process.  Confused and desperate, the groups leader Spottswoode, recruits a respected Broadway actor named Gary to fill the void, believing that his excellent acting skills will prove useful in the infiltration of terrorist cells and the discovery of any hidden WMD's.  Reluctant, Gary attempts to sequester himself into a life of solitude that finds him constantly beating himself up over the death of his family by zoo guerillas.  It is not until Gary reflects on his own place in assuring freedom that he decides to join Team America and fight terrorism.  His addition to the group is received with mixed feelings, some finding him absolutely appalling and unfit to replace Carson, while others find him to be a perfect replacement.  Agreeing to help, Team America, along with Gary, plunge themselves into dealing with the removal of WMD's from Cairo only to discover too late that a far bigger player controls the terrorist movement, that of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, whose own self-deprecating loneliness has led him to desire the complete destruction of the world.  Oblivious to the true problems of the world, Jong-Il is helped by American actors who see Team America as conservative blowhards.  The group known collectively as the Film Actors Guild is led by Alec Baldwin and agrees to do a benefit in North Korea.  This benefit, as Jong-Il knows, will allow him a moment of global distraction long enough to bomb the world.  While the group has trouble unifying to fend of Jong-Il in a last sprint of unity the group is able to deter his actions and Gary is finally able to discover his true acting talents.  The film closes on a frozen frame of Team America celebrating their victory as they await their next mission to assure freedom, because as the film reminds us, it is not free, but actually costs "a buck'o'five."

As I said earlier, Team America is clearly a commentary on our own cultural discourse following 9/11.  As always, Parker and Stone are careful to critique the illogical nature of both sides.  Conservatives are critiqued through the scenes in which over zealous patriotism receives unquestioned praises, as is evidenced by the "What Would You Do For Freedom?" song which eerily parallels most every song Toby Keith has made since the terrorist attacks in 2001.  Similarly, the "American" things defended within the film are all clearly emerging from a white perspective, which is humorously done through making a member of Team America a white male from Nebraska, who is a natural born leader.  This moment clearly mocks the rise of a return to an older America that emerged after 9/11, which obviously meant the relegation of persons of color.  The film is also clever enough to dismiss the zealous counters of the liberal media, which automatically disregards freedom fighting groups like Team America as flag waivers.  The liberals, realized through the Film Actors Guild in the film, unknowingly agree to engage in terrorist activities, because to them anything that contradicts conservative values is inherently good, despite knowing that the other side in the film is obviously Kim Jong-Il.  Similarly, the film criticizes our own government's commentary on a post-PATRIOT ACT world that justifies invasions of privacy simply in the name of freedom fighting.  It is no coincidence that the computer used in the film is titled as I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. as it is used as a justification for clearly illegal acts on Americans; this is particularly poignant within the film as we are never provided with the words that fit into the acronym.  The government within the film attempts to mask problems with huge phrases and catchy titles, while the conservatives and liberals feud over ideology that would clearly benefit from simply acknowledging a middle ground.  As you can see amidst images of vomit, elementary gay jokes and an absurdly funny puppet sex scene, Team America offers a fully realized vision of our failings in a post-terrorist world.

Team America screams rental, but is not bad by any means.  It really is a group viewing experience that will be greatly helped by the inclusion of PBR.

She Used Her Super-Intellect On Me. She's Like Hannibal Lecter: Saving Silverman (2001)

Many comedies stand the test of time for their timelessness or their cult like following, others are simply a signifier of a change in the way comedy films would be for the next few years.  Tragically, Saving Silverman is neither of those, it is simply a run of the mill comedy from the early 2000's that relies to heavily on toilet humor and gay jokes for its plot and fills narrative gaps with moments of absurdity so illogical that endearing does little to describe its situation.  Saving Silverman falls between the perfectly crafted college humor of American Pie and the witty quotable dialogue of Judd Apatow films, yet neither of these comedic forms appear in Saving Silverman, the film starts with promise and quickly and irreversibly falls apart.  In fact, if it were not for Dennis Dugan making Happy Gilmore I would completely dismiss his directorial abilities, because not only is this film uninspiring, he has Jack and Jill credited to his name, a flop of a film if ever one existed.

As noted the film starts off with promise, we are introduced to three lifetime friends the loyal Wayne (Steve Zahn) who has taken up profession as a exterminator, J.D. (Jack Black) a heavy set loudmouth who is constantly out of work and Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs) a loveable loser who has trouble finding respectable relationships in which he is not completely belittled.  The trio, along with being childhood friends, also share a passion for Neil Diamond and spend their free time in a cover band called Diamonds In The Rough.  All appears fine, if simple, in the friends lives, until Darren meets a girl named Judith (Amanda Peet).  Judith is stone cold and shows little concern for Darren, until she realizes she can use him as fodder to dodge the approaches of other.  This using of Darren quickly grows out of control and the film cuts to Darren and Judith six weeks later with Darren pathetically in love with Judith and her indifferent to his feelings.  Furthermore, J.D. and Wayne have lost their constant contact with Darren and Judith makes it a goal of hers to separate her boyfriend from his immature friends.  Confused and enraged J.D. and Wayne set out to breakup the couple and reunite Darren with his high school sweetheart  Sandy (Amanda Detmer), who is only days away from taking her vows at a nunnery.  Wayne and J.D. become so desperate to gain their friend back that they kidnap Judith and lock her in their garage.  The film then falls into absurdity as the Darren reunites with Sandy, Wayne and Judith become intimate and J.D. realizes his own suppressed homosexuality.  In the end, in a rather sloppy manner, all is resolved and the crew even meets Neil Diamond, who, undoubtedly phoned in his role as himself.  The film closes with the credits, which involves a group singing of Neil Diamond's Rain, which is arguably the best part of this film.

As I noted earlier, this film relies almost entirely on baudy jokes and raunchy imagery for its humor, which is problematic in its repetition.  I have come to realize in the past years of film viewing that a truly hilarious film combines multiple facets of humor that includes, but is not limited to puns, slapstick, post-modern humor, political jokes, cultural humor and even a dash of toilet humor.  I remember reviewing The Naked Gun last year and discussing its excellent use of slapstick, but I also realize now as I write this review that The Naked Gun also mastered other forms of humor as well.  It is a tragic sign as a writer, director and even actor when you have to debase a film to crude jokes for an hour and a half simply because the narrative is lacking.  In the rare occasions that a film is completely crude, like American Pie, it does so with such fervor and ridiculousness that it becomes a cult hit; again Saving Silverman fails to do this and simply uses gay jokes and nakedness as a means to an end.  With that said, I have no critical statement on this film and in fact find it almost entirely void of social relevance, except as an example of how not to do comedy.

So, I am sure it is apparent at this point that you should not bother to watch this film, unless you really care for comedy movies and even then I strongly discourage viewing this work.

Perhaps So, I’ve Brought The Apple Anyway:…And God Created Women (1956)

The world was never the same after the introduction of Brigitte Bardot and cinema has this film to thank.  Perhaps more well-known for his cult classic Barbarella, Roger Vadim’s film is a sexual romp through the French coast that is as sultry as it is sentimental and serves as one of the fleeting moments of brilliance that existed in France prior to its filmic upheaval that would be the French New Wave. It is at times funny, while at others tragically serious, but despite its wavering it never manages to loose its illustrious Technicolor flow fashioning itself around a young vixen whose on screen presence would forever change the way sexual promiscuity was framed worldwide.

While Juliette (Brigitte Bardot) is the character the films title references, the actual narrative is more concerned with the small Tardieu family as they attempt to secure their living amidst the ever contentious demands of a sleazy businessman whose interests also lie in dominating the young Juliette.  An orphan, Juliette fills her days with lackluster work at a bookstore and dancing into midnight, actions which eventually lead her foster mother to banish her, stating that she is to return to a far off boarding school.  Realizing her imminent loss if she were to be relocated, Juliette prays on a the middle brother of the family, using his shyness against him and becoming a femme fatale of sorts, ignoring the death associated with the character as it relates to film noir.  Her seduction of the middle brother is partially for self-perseverance, but it also is intended to exact revenge on the family’s oldest brother who unknowingly admits his attempts to use Juliette at a late night party.  The film then spirals into a abyss of infidelity, double speak and business, which witnesses the Tardieu’s dismissing their land with the promise of earning off of whatever is built.  In a fleeting moment, the oldest brother and Juliette engage in an act of intercourse, which ultimately destroys the rather close relationship previously existing between the Tardieu’s.  In the classic femme fatale fashion, Juliette remains relatively unharmed and appears to have learned very little from the endeavor making the men’s unrestrained desire the problem, as opposed to the innocence of a young vixen.

The critiques of this film are vast and varied, but I find the most obvious ones to emerge when approaching it from a feminist lens.  The first issue is the most blatant, it is a film preoccupied with the male gaze.  Our first introduction to Juliette is of her legs as they emerge from behind a dangling sheet.  The film then cuts to an old man approaching her with a toy, yet in a moment of cinematic genius it then cuts to a far off house to show that yet another man is gazing at the young girl.  In this sense, Juliette cannot escape the gaze of men within the film, let alone the gaze of the films viewers.  Furthermore, the film relishes in the notion that Juliette is a sexual object.  The eldest son Antoine (Christian Marquand) is never punished for his open claims of desiring to degrade Juliette and, in fact, he is rewarded by eventually claiming her sexually.  This lack of concern for Juliette is only furthered by how little is known about her past.  It is evident that Juliette is the black sheep of the community, but her association with disdain is rarely elaborated on and instead appears to be from deep seeded jealously on the part of the women in the community, yet another problem addressed by feminist.  Jealously is solely the result of a patriarchy that demands women be sexually desirous, an obvious undertone in this films narrative.  To put it succinctly the film does not treat women well, but is certain to chastise the men for their actions, perhaps it’s only redeeming feature (besides the luscious Technicolor of course).

This is not one of my favorite Criterion releases by any means, but it is quite good.  I would only suggest snagging a copy if you are a CC fanatic and want to one day possess the entire collection.